


Pretty Lies We Delude Ourselves With

by MsOzma



Series: HSWC 2014 Fills [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Death, F/M, shameless pale flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-03
Updated: 2014-06-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 07:24:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1736093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsOzma/pseuds/MsOzma
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I never thought you would or could do that to me." -Beatrix Kiddo, Kill Bill Vol. 2</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretty Lies We Delude Ourselves With

**Author's Note:**

> This was a fill I was too lazy to post here until just now, though it is definitely one of my more favorite works. Based on this prompt:
> 
> "Eridan</>Kanaya
> 
> Remember when Eridan killed Kanaya after they'd been on-and-off paleflirting for *weeks*?"

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling  grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

CA: kan  
CA: kan are you there  
CA: its kinda urgent  
CA: goddammit i thought at least you wwould showw some goddamn sympathy for me  
GA: Do You Mind  
GA: Im A Little Indisposed At The Moment  
GA: I Have Grist To Collect As Everyone Else Does You Know  
CA: wwait  
CA: howw the fuck do you got monsters droppin grist  
CA: ah fuck wwhatevver that doesnt matter  
CA: i wwas wwonderin if you could talk  
GA: I Just Told You I Cant  
GA: And Anyway The Village Two Wheel Device In Auspisticism Is Honestly Not In The Mood To Deal With Your Ashen Advances Or Theatrics  
GA: At Least If Memory Serves Correctly That Is All I Am To You And Everyone Else  
GA: Now If Youll Excuse Me I Have Grist To Collect  
CA: kan wwait  
CA: this isnt evven about auspisticism alright  
CA: i dont evven care about you auspisticizing betwween me an mindfang i am so completely OVVER that noww  
CA: i just  
CA: i just wwant someone to talk to okay  
GA: Sigh  
GA: Why Dont You Speak To Karkat About Whatever Is Bothering You  
GA: Im Sure He Will Be More Than Able And Willing To Help You With Whatever New Issue You Have  
CA: fuck kan wwhats wwith all the hostility all of a sudden  
CA: im not tryin to go ash OR black wwith you for fucks sake  
CA: and evven im shocked that im the one havvin to be sayin that right noww  
GA: Wow  
GA: Unbelievable  
GA: Why Must You Look At Everything As A Quadrant Invitation  
CA: yeah okay im pathetic an wworthless wwhatevver wwe get it  
CA: i wwould of talked to kar instead but hes busy too  
CA: no matter wwhat i do i cant reach him  
CA: kan really i wwouldnt of bothered you like this if i could of helped it but i couldnt  
CA: i just got a lot of emotions and feelins to deal wwith  
GA: . . .  
GA: One Moment Please  
CA: okay  
GA: Okay I Have Subdued This Large Monster I Believe Was Some Sort Of Boss For The Current Stage Im In  
GA: Or At Least I Would Hope So  
GA: These Monsters Have Become Nearly Impossible To Defeat As Of Late  
GA: And Their  _Screams_  
CA: yeah thats probably because fefs lusus fell into the kernelsprite  
CA: i guess it wwas somethin completely outta her control  
CA: if you ask me it wwas sols fault  
GA: Huh  
GA: It Seems I Have A Lot To Catch Up On  
GA: Speaking Of Feferi How Is She  
CA: oh  
CA: wwell  
CA: thats part a the reason i wwas hopin i could talk to you  
GA: If This Is More About Your Onesided Flush Attraction Then Im Afraid Im Not Really Equipped To Assist You  
CA: no thats not it  
CA: its just  
CA: fef dumped me  
GA: . . .  
GA: Oh  
GA: Eridan Im Very Sorry  
CA: its just  
CA: i nevver actually thought she wwould do it  
CA: i mean yeah im awwful and desperate and horrible  
CA: and she nevver agreed wwith anything i did  
CA: but i nevver thought shed actually dump me you knoww  
CA: did she say anything to you that wwould suggest she didnt wwanna be pale no more  
GA: No  
GA: Im Just As Shocked As You  
CA: yeah right youre shocked you ALWWAYS said you nevver understood wwhy she put up wwith me  
GA: Truthfully I Didnt  
GA: But She Always Did Anyway  
GA: And She Seemed More Than Happy Or Dare I Say -Excit-ed To Act As A Moirail To You  
CA: you knoww wwhats really fucking stupid  
CA: before she dumped me i actually thought she wwas going to tell me she wwas red for me all along  
CA: like wwoww REAL fuckin brilliant eridan  
CA: sigh  
CA: she wwas right all along  
CA: im not any better or more clevver than anyone else  
CA: hell im a fuckin fool for thinkin she could evver feel the same about me that i did for her  
GA: Well  
GA: Youre Not The Only One To Have Made That Assumption  
CA: look i knoww you think talkin about people from history wwho had been flushed for their moirails wwill help me out but i really dont wwanna hear about them right noww  
GA: What  
GA: No  
GA: I Was Referring To Myself  
CA: wwoah hold on  
CA: did somethin happen betwween you an mindfang  
GA: Yes  
GA: Well  
GA: Not Really  
GA: Im Not Sure If Anything Happened To Be Honest  
CA: wwhats that supposed to mean  
GA: I Dont Know  
GA: When I Figure Out How I Should Feel About The Situation I Will Tell You About It  
CA: fair enough  
CA: fuck i should get goin  
CA: theres these strange flyin monsters all around and they wwont givve me any fuckin rest its upright ridiculous  
GA: Alright Then  
GA: Hey  
GA: Before You Go Actually  
GA: Id Like To Apologize For Acting As Vitriolic As I Did At The Beginning Of The Conversation  
GA: You May Have Said And Done A Lot Of Things But I Still Appreciate Your Friendship  
CA: its fine  
CA: ...and thanks

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling  grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

 

* * *

 

GA: So I Made Her This Dress  
CA: mhmm  
GA: And In My Mind I Thought It Would Be Adorable To Make An Identical One For Myself  
CA: hm  
GA: I Just Presumed It Could Be Something We Could Both Share With One Another  
GA: We Would Both Have These Dresses And  
GA: I Dont Know  
GA: I Just Thought Somehow Making Her The Dress Might  
GA: Win Her Over  
CA: really  
GA: Yes As Foolish As That May Seem  
GA: And Of Course I Sent Her The Captcha To Her Dress  
GA: Without Hardly A Word Of Thanks From Her I Might Add  
CA: oh let me guess  
CA: she wwas all “wwoww th8nks for the dress okay l8ter maryam ::::)”   
GA: Actually Aside From The Accent That Was Exactly What She Said  
CA: figures  
CA: ungrateful wwench  
GA: I Didnt Even Get A Chance To Tell Her I Made A Matching Dress Of My Own  
GA: But I Assumed Her Speedy Log Off Simply Had To Do With Her Having So Many Irons In The Fire As It Were  
GA: But Then I Spent Some Time Just Trying To Get Into The Medium  
GA: And When I Finally Had A Chance To Check Up On Her Do You Know What I Found  
CA: no  
GA: I Found Her Kissing Tavros!  
GA: IN THE DRESS I MADE HER!  
CA: WWHAT  
CA: SHE FUCKIN KISSED TAVV  
CA: FUCKIN  _TAVV_  
CA: REALLY  
CA: SHE HARDLY EVVER EVVEN KISSED ME BUT SHE KISSED THAT BROWWN BLOODED FILTH  
GA: Eridan I Thought We Already Agreed You Wouldnt Make This About You  
CA: okay fine im sorry i just  
CA: REALLY  
GA: ERIDAN  
CA: okay im done  
GA: Good  
GA: Anyway When I Saw That Happen I Just  
GA: Got Really Upset  
GA: And Of Course You Ended Up Messaging Me Before I Had Fully Had A Chance To Calm Down About It  
GA: Which Is Why I Attacked You For No Apparent Reason  
GA: Which I Feel I Must Apologize For Again  
CA: wwoww kan like i said its fine  
CA: chill out  
GA: Okay  
GA: Anyway Thats Overall What Happened Between Me And Vriska  
CA: so  
CA: no official break up yet  
GA: No  
GA: At Least I Dont Think So  
GA: Although I Really Cant See Myself Being Her Moirail Anymore  
GA: Maybe Thats Petty Of Me But Thats How I Feel  
GA: Im Not Sure How I Should Tell Her That  
GA: Im Half Tempted To Not Even Offer An Explanation  
CA: i wwouldnt if i wwere you  
CA: that no good backstabbing bitch doesnt deservve a fuckin explanation  
CA: hell id evven go a step further and knock her fuckin lights out  
GA: . . .  
CA: wwhat  
GA: Eridan I Know I Promised I Wouldnt Bring It Up But Are You Still Killing Those Angels  
CA: WWHAT THE FUCK KAN ITS NONE A YOUR BUSINESS  
GA: Which Of Course Translates To Yes  
CA: sigh  
GA: I Honestly Think Karkat Is Right In Saying You Shouldnt Kill Those Things  
GA: They Are Incredibly Difficult To Overpower And Offer No Rewards Upon Defeating Them  
CA: kan theyre fuckin bloodthirsty angels thatll kill all trolls in sight if they had a chance  
CA: if anything you should be thanking me  
GA: Didnt You Deliberately Enrage Them Somehow  
CA: pfft  
CA: minor details  
GA: I Just Think You Should Rethink Your Whole Strategy About Killing Them  
CA: look kan this is honestly somethin youre not prepared to understand  
CA: just trust me youll all thank me evventually for taking these things out  
CA: its a hope thing kinda like your wwhole frog orgy is a space thing  
GA: Ignoring Your Highly Simplistic View Of What Im Doing on Loraf  
GA: I Suppose You May Have A Point  
GA: Still  
GA: Um  
CA: wwhat  
GA: Maybe  
GA: If Next You Feel Urged To Kill Another Angel  
GA: You Could  
GA: Uh  
GA: Maybe Talk To Me About It First  
GA: And Perhaps I Can Help Talk You Through It  
CA: oh  
CA: uh  
CA: yeah  
CA: yeah thatd be fine  
CA: i wwouldnt havve a problem wwith that  
CA: actually itd probably help clear my head a little to havve someone to talk to about  
CA: you knoww  
CA: killin angels  
GA: Hm  
GA: Well That Would Be Good  
GA: To Have Your Head Clear That Is  
GA: . . .  
GA: :)

 

* * *

 

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling  caligulasAquarium [CA]

GA: Im Glad You Can Still Talk To People From Your Glasses  
GA: Otherwise Your Flirtation Attempts With The Humans Would Have Sadly Ended  
CA: ha fucking ha REAL NICE KAN  
CA: laugh it up wwhy dont you  
CA: since my utter humiliation is apparently so fucking amusing to you  
GA: It Is Actually  
GA: But Only Because You Deserved It  
CA: and howw the fuck did i deservve to get my husktop blowwn up  
CA: as if that isnt the most unjust thing that could of happened to me  
GA: Actually It Isnt  
GA: And All Things Considered Youre Fortunate Thats The Only Thing That Happened  
CA: wwhat the fuck evver kan  
CA: as if i dont see wwhy youre so shamelessly taking the wwitchs side  
GA: How Many Times Must I Tell You She Isnt A Witch  
GA: Even If She Is Acting Like One  
GA: And What Do You Mean Im Shamelessly Taking Her Side In This  
CA: wwell of course  
CA: its just because you so obvviously havve red feelings for her  
GA: I DO NOT  
CA: hahahahaha oh my god kan YES YOU DO  
CA: its almost embarrassin howw red for her you are  
GA: She Is A Human And Thus Beneath Me  
GA: I Dont Care What She Does  
CA: uh huh  
CA: thats wwhat kar said about the humans before he started wwaxin pitch fuckin dark for the blue one  
CA: i may be fuckin desperate but at least i admit i am wwhereas the lot a you like to pretend you dont givve a shit  
CA: but i fuckin knoww better  
GA: . . .  
GA: Where Are You Right Now  
CA: wwhy do you care  
GA: Im Just Curious Is All  
CA: hm  
GA: Oh Come On Eridan You Cant Seriously Be This Upset About It  
CA: SHE BLEWW UP MY HUSKTOP  
CA: RIGHT AFTER I TRIED GOIN BLACK FOR HER  
CA: excuse me for feelin a little fuckin conflicted and confused and angry  
CA: howw am i supposed to take that  
CA: i mean from a troll it could either mean a reciprocation a scorchin hatred or just some stupid assassination attempt  
CA: but from a human i mean wwho evven KNOWWS wwhat theyre thinkin  
GA: Well  
GA: Maybe I Can Help You  
CA: pfft  
CA: as IF  
GA: Why Do You Harbor Such Strong Resentment Toward Her Anyway  
CA: because shes some fake ass wwannabe magician castin falsities left an right  
CA: THERES NO SUCH THING AS MAGIC WWHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WWHO UNDERSTANDS THIS  
GA: Ugh  
GA: You Really Are Unbearable Sometimes  
CA: hey  
CA: is it true  
GA: What  
GA: What Are You Talking About  
CA: about you an vvris  
CA: did you finally let her knoww its ovver twwixt the twwo a you  
GA: Um  
GA: I Didnt Exactly Say It Like That  
GA: But I Think She Got The Message  
GA: Though I Hardly Think She Cares  
GA: Ever Since She Got Into Her Feud With Terezi She Hardly Seems To Be Bothered By Anyone Elses Affairs Save For Whatever Schemes Shes Concocting  
CA: that doesnt surprise me  
CA: ...  
CA: howw are you feelin about it all  
GA: What  
GA: You Mean Her Not Caring About Me  
CA: wwell yeah  
GA: Well  
GA: I Honestly Cant Find Myself Caring That Much Either  
GA: So I Suppose It Inadvertently Worked Out  
CA: its only cause you got that stupid flush crush on the wwitch  
GA: How Many Times Must I Say I Dont Have A Flush Crush On Her!!!  
CA: sheesh fine  
CA: wwhatever little pretty lies you wwanna delude yourself wwith  
GA: Eridan  
CA: wwhat  
GA: I Am Being Serious Now  
GA: Where Are You  
GA: Im A Bit Worried About Your State Right Now  
CA: ...  
CA: geez kan you act like im about to go destroy someones husktop myself or somethin  
CA: im just laying in my shitty wwand pile happy noww  
GA: Good  
GA: Thats Good To Hear  
CA: you knoww you should probably spend more a your time dealin wwith fakey pinkmage wwitch girl than tryin to hassle me all the goddamn time  
CA: accordin to evveryone else shes makin a goddamn mess of her session  
GA: Truth Be Told  
GA: I Feel She May Pose A Significant Danger To Herself And Others  
GA: And Nothing She Has Said In Our Conversations Has Really Changed How I Feel About That  
CA: wwait  
CA: howw many convversations havve you had wwith her  
GA: Oh I Dont Know  
GA: I Started Losing Count After Sixteen  
CA: sixteen  
CA: SIXTEEN  
CA: kan you should of kept me updated on this  
CA: shes probably told you all of her wwitchy secrets by noww  
GA: Oh God Not This Again  
GA: This Is Why I Probably Avoided Telling You  
CA: kan i need to knoww howw she makes those illusions happen its important  
CA: as prince of hope i cant just let her go parading around like shes some wwoman in the musical wwherein a jade blood escapes her matriorb duties and goes to a privvate magic academy studying magical lusii behavvior  
CA: and flips from black to pale wwith her sea dwweller roommate wwho both havve red feelins for a blue blood passionate about lusus rights  
GA: Okay I Get The Reference  
CA: kan please  
CA: you gotta givve me SOMETHING i can wwork wwith  
GA: Sigh  
GA: Fine  
GA: How About I Make You A Wand   
CA: wwand  
CA: i dont wwanna fuckin wwand kan im sittin on a goddamn pile a wwands right noww  
GA: I Mean A Real Wand  
GA: Like The One Rose Has  
CA: wwait  
CA: really  
CA: really like hers  
GA: Yes  
GA: And You May Use The Wand To Smite Your Enemies  
GA: With The Very Real Power Of Hope And Science  
GA: Will You Be Satisfied Then  
CA: yes  
CA: kan this is fuckin perfect  
GA: Alright  
GA: Meet Me In The Alchemiter Lab And I Will Help Alchemize You A Powerful Wand To Smite Your Enemies And Foes  
CA: oh god kan you havve no idea howw much smitin ill fuckin do wwith that  
GA: Oh  
GA: Wow  
CA: wwhat  
GA: Oh Nothing  
GA: Just I Think Roses Behavior Is Starting To Rub Off On Me  
CA: wwell id hope so if it means im getting a real wworking wwand  
GA: Well  
GA: Okay If You Think Nothing Is Wrong With It  
CA: wwait kan  
GA: ?  
CA: thank you  
GA: I Havent Even Made You A Wand Yet  
CA: wwell no but still  
CA: thanks  
CA: not just for that but for talking to me  
CA: im really grateful evven if i may not alwways act like it  
GA: . . .  
GA: Thank You Eridan  
GA: That Means A Lot To Hear

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased trolling  caligulasAquarium [CA]

CA: ...  
CA: <>

caligulasAquarium [CA] deleted their message

 

* * *

 

You hardly noticed his conversation with Feferi and Sollux escalating until he was pulling out his wand and Sollux had sparks coming out of his eyes. You didn’t even have a chance to react before they were both shooting overpowered blasts at each other, Sollux flying and landing hard against the wall. After that, it was all a blur.

Feferi’s angry face. Her running toward him, trident raised. And then white light piercing her heart, her falling into the horn piles with a resounding “honk.”

And then him suddenly facing you.

You got your makeupkind strife specibus prepared, but in your mind you just wanted to calm him down. Just  _calm him down_. In your head you imagined him pathetically tearing up only to drop his wand and run into your feeble little arms so you could pet his hair and coo, “Shoosh, dear,” to him until the whole thing passed. Like you had wished he had done a million times before.

You regret that your last thought was to look at the matriorb. The last chance for your species to survive.

He saw you glance at it. You know he did.

Because the next moment it was gone in an explosion of white light.

You got angry.  _So_  angry. Angry hardly begins to define it. You leaped for an attack, chainsaw out and ready to do damage against him for doing such a stupid stupid  _stupid_  thing.

Yet even when you did, you never expected him to shoot a hole through the heart of yours that was still pathetically pale for him.

The last thing you remember was pain.

 

* * *

 

Your name is Kanaya Maryam.

You were dead, yet now you are somehow alive, craving a substance you never thought you would.

Eridan killed you.

And in spite of everything happening, you can’t help but wonder if you ever meant anything to him.


End file.
